Mental health has always been a big deal for Josh Sideman.
The adapted physical education teacher at Lexington High School, and girl’s soccer coach, has placed an emphasis on checking in with his students and making sure they know they can share their feelings, even if they are unwell.
That is why Sideman has decided to shine a light on his own family’s story to illuminate a path to continuing the conversation about mental health struggles.
Sideman will be running in this year’s Boston Marathon to honor the memory of his mother-in-law, Debbie, who died by suicide after dealing with depression in August of 2023.
“Debbie was like another mother to me. Anything I needed, we just connected so well,” Sideman, 33, said. “I got (family) permission to share my mother-in-law’s story about mental illness and everything that she had gone through … and break that stigma with mental health.”
Sideman is planning to run in the 128th marathon to represent Samaritans, a volunteer organization whose work provides suicide prevention services and support to those who lost someone by suicide, joining a handful of others to raise money for the organization’s efforts to save lives.
Family members remembered Debbie as a loving wife, mother, and grandmother. A Nova Scotian native, Sideman said Debbie and her husband of 40 years were his wife Chelsea’s “everything.” The couple purchased a home in 2021 in Billerica, two streets away from Sideman, his wife, and their two granddaughters, to remain close to the family.
“Breaking the stigma is opening the Pandora’s box for what is to follow” when it comes to research and conversations surrounding mental health, said John MacFarlane, Debbie’s husband, of the impact he hopes his son-in-law’s marathon run will have.
The CDC reports that suicide is one the leading causes of death in the country, and the number of deaths by suicide increased in 2022, up 2.6%.
Sideman’s commitment to destigmatizing mental health issues and instead talking about it through a lens of community and connection has shown in his fundraisers ahead of the April 15 race, where he has collected over $30,000 in donations. The funds will go towards training Samaritans volunteers, including for a 24/7 help hotline and community outreach programs, in hopes of preventing loss like the one that happened to Sideman.
“It’s just so important to know that there is a resource like that here in Massachusetts that is available, and it’s easy to find,” Sideman said. “It’s okay to not be okay.”
Sideman is part of a team of 15 running the Boston Marathon who also want to advocate for spreading similar messages on suicide prevention and mental well-being.
Samaritans has provided a community for people healing from suicide loss and helped destigmatize mental illness and struggles, said Kathy Marchi, the CEO and president of Samaritans.
“Like with Josh, the desire to share a story about a loved one and share a message of a person’s life and the loss that they feel can be very powerful for survivors,” Marchi said. “I appreciate that our marathon runners have the courage to tell a story and the desire to share and break the stigma.”
“It’s talking about the issue and destigmatizing it. It’s about celebrating a person’s life and giving someone with loss an opportunity to literally do something,” Marchi continued.
Samaritans offers a training program for its marathon runners to prepare for the 26.2 miles. Sideman said he has begun training on his own accord, adding he is fortunate enough to combine his passion for athletics with a good cause.
Until the day of the marathon and when he can cross the finish line, Sideman is going to continue with his journey of raising awareness on suicide prevention.
“If I could talk to one person today and they hear my family’s story, maybe that would help them check in on a loved one who might be struggling,” he said. “The more you talk about something in a safe and understanding way, the more it’s normalized, and people shouldn’t be afraid to have this conversation.”
If you or someone you know is struggling and needs someone to talk to, help is available 24 hours a day. Reach out for support by calling the Suicide And Crisis Lifeline at 988. For more information about grief support or education, reach out to Samaritans on their website.