Hannah Gadsby talks about “pufferfish moments” when people are triggered with rage, but don’t feel like they can do much about it.
These days, it often feels this way when reading the pitchfork and flame-throwing comments being lobbed on community listeners, Facebook pages and even community public meetings. What starts as an attempt at learning or sharing information about an issue devolves into a spectacle of mud-slinging and public humiliation.
I am truly appalled by the lack of civility and maturity when expressing disagreement. Debate the issues or perspectives. Please stop using our cherished community forums as a place to disparage community members and town staff. We have community forums as a place to learn from one another. Yet, it is deeply troubling to see folks continue to use community spaces as a forum to stoke angry mob mentality onto individuals who live in our very own community. There is no place for bullies in our town and we should not accept it on a community forum.
Do I engage?
Heck no!
Don’t add fuel to the flame. Surely the flames will stop.
Just wait a little longer. My toast is burnt.
Yours truly,
Christina Lin, pufferfish
Christina, I am with you, in so many ways. One of the silent and most damaging aspects of the misinformation and bullying that occurs in our town is that it scares away members of our community who were previously willing to serve us. The bullying almost scared me away from Lexington, but I chose, thanks to the incredible support offered by you and other dedicated community members, to stay and resist those who continue bully despite being blessed with all the privilege and resources to learn to do better. I have the deepest respect for our elected officials and staff. I’m incredibly proud to have had a planning board, staff, and community volunteers that put forth years of work into the highest form of planning – transect planning- in the LexingtonNext C plan, which then was translated into Article 34. The next years will tell us a lot. I can promise that I and a growing group of dedicated individuals will not forget and we will not rest – our collective future depends on regional cooperation and we need to reward pro-social behavior while disincentivizing mob-mentality to make it a reality.
Respectful Debate is Not Bullying
I wholeheartedly agree with Christina Lin’s call for civility in our community discussions. Disagreements should be expressed respectfully, and personal attacks have no place in our forums. However, I believe it’s important to acknowledge that the definition of “bullying” and “disparaging” can sometimes be subjective.
Holding town officials—whether elected, appointed, or employed—accountable for their decisions is not bullying; it is civic engagement. These individuals, whether volunteers or paid employees, make decisions that affect the taxes, quality of life, and education of 35,000 residents. When mistakes are made, such as those regarding MBTA zoning, it is not only appropriate but necessary for community members to voice concerns and criticisms.
Healthy debate and scrutiny are essential to good governance. While we should all strive to engage in discussions with respect and fairness, we should also recognize that passionate disagreement is not the same as personal attack.
I would disagree with. I heard people impute motives to other people. That is wrong. Everyone is trying to do what is best for the town, not developers. It is unfortunate that not everyone has the same information. Some progress was made when the 2 sides got together.